(Eye) Brows That Bind (Eye) Brows That Break


Welcome back ya’ll, I know it’s been 84 years since my last posts but life comes at you fast and I suffer from perpetual laziness.

Now that the formalities are done let me start by saying It’s a brow eat brow world out there folks. Your brows say more about you then your choice of shoes will ever do.

Of late I’ve been getting a lot of attention about my eyebrows (5 comments thus far) and so I’ve decided to dedicate this piece to my new favourite facial feature – eyebrows. I’ve also decided to write about eyebrows because I didn’t know what to write about and Jason (Hi chicken 💕) said, “I know what you can write about, eyebrows”.

Okay so let’s start with a bit of history. Let me throw you back to an era where I was afraid of waxing. Circa 2013. After much convincing I decided to wax my untouched, un-shaped, indigenous brows. They were crafted and sculptured at a place known as Eye Candy that Gemma ran from her bedroom on the side of her house. Granted she only had 4 non-paying customers but boy did she make a killing.

Up until last year I would avidly wax my brows. God forbid I walked around for more than three to nine months with a few strands of hair. I even bought a tweezer (I now own three). But after a while I forgot that I needed to do my brows and before I knew it my brows were wilding out fam. Like they were WIYALD and even after numerous comments from people, (one person, you know who you are) I still didn’t do anything about them. Then one day I woke up a new person. I bought an eyebrow pencil and brush and decided that if I could trick my brows into thinking they were something they were not, then they would become something they were not. They took on a whole new shape, they have this magical little fade to them and have replaced my lips as my stand out feature. They are truly magical.

You’re welcome

I come from a friend group of good brows. That’s how I know I can trust them. But even if you don’t have good eyebrows this doesn’t mean that I don’t trust you it just means I don’t trust your eyebrows. This also means I cannot trust your decisions.

(Please note that this next section was written without any proof or research, i have limited data and i’m currently having my hair done) – Over time men and women have developed tricks of the trade to also trick their eyebrows and the world. It all started with the Egyptians. They were mad crazy about the brows I don’t know what prehistoric eye brow tint they used, probably coal, but their eyebrows were banging. Jump ahead like 3027 years and we have people trying to recreate brands logos into the brows. Whether it be the Nike tick or the Adidas stripes, people don’t care. Women of the olden days and in fact women of the new days would shave off their brows and the draw them on. I can’t even be mad because they took what they thought was a bad eye brow situation and made it a worse one but with good intentions.

You can literally see how fly their brows are from this pic.

The funny thing about eyebrows is that are actually mad attractive Exhibit  A- Theo James. Imagine his face with out those strong brows. I am 100% sure his brows make his jaw line seem stronger. Exhibit B – everyone with good brows. We all know that person we haven’t seen since second year and all of sudden you’re in Cavendish and you spot them and you don’t even know it’s them because they all of a sudden have mad eye brows. They go from having little grains of pepper to having to having a full fledged Arabia stallion galloping across their forehead bringing them closer to their dreams.

51st Annual ICG Publicists Awards
God is so good people #blessed

Look I’m not in any position to be giving make up advice but in my opinion if you want great brows you need the following:

  1. A winning personality
  2. An eye brow pencil or tinter or a shade of eye shadow that matches your brows and a great application brushes
  3. The skills to use the above
  4. Time
  5. Concealer
  6. Wi-Fi to watch the link below
  7. The link below

Eyebrows are not from our world but are from heaven. They were a feature designed by God to torture, tempt or try and make you wanna be a better person. God bless them, each and every one of them.

Okay cool.



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